BRINGING BACK SMOKING
We are announcing that starting next week, all seniors will be allowed to smoke in the hallways.
“We figured if they’re gonna vape, they might as well just rip a Marlboro in front of the math room,” said the principal while lighting a celebratory cigar.
Students will be provided with free lighters, custom ashtrays, and a designated
‘Meth Corner’ near the vending machines. Teachers have been instructed to “just go with it” and carry gas masks between periods.
Administration hopes this “freedom-based deterrent” will scare teens straight.
